Embracing Tragedy

A week ago, I met an old friend. We have not seen for 15 years. He looked fresh, bright faces, seemed optimistic view of life. Fifteen years ago, as I recall it very different circumstances. At that time the material he’s quite good. But mentally, his condition again slumped. Less positive life habits. Love the nightlife, working hard in the daytime. So throughout the day is spent outside the home. He has a wife and kids are still small. He’s so crazy nightlife, almost no day without him going to the night club. Until one day, his son fell ill. His wife calls, and he simply replied, “take it to the doctor”, while continuing to enjoy the nightlife. Finally, the wife went to the doctor alone, and the doctor advised hospitalization at the hospital. The results of examination of the child states Leukemi hit. Since then we never saw again.

By remembering the past is unpleasant, I ventured to ask him,

“How’s your son who was sick?”

“He can not help. One year since he entered the hospital, his condition grew worse, and eventually he died. ” Said my friend.

“What did you do then?” Ask me.

“I was really shocked. I just realized, that I have neglected my family who was supposed to be my responsibility. “He said.

“So?” I asked further.

“I realized, that all my habits must be ended. I had to change tack. I finally know that my life for them – my wife and my two children who were still alive. ” My friend went on.

Our conversation kept rolling, from topic to topic. Until finally he said something that touched my heart,

“My friend, now maybe I am more happy after going through all that. I have a way of life more clearly, and different priorities now. “

Then he continued, “you do not know who you are and what your true self until you are really tested. You will get something more from your failures than your successes. “

How do you feel while experiencing an event like this my friend. It was hard to feel you are positive. But that’s what happens on my friend’s, and he looked at the tragedy in his life as a defining moment in his life. Events which overturn everything for him.

What can we take lessons from the events above? He did not reject these tragedies, but he hugged a friend. A thought that makes the failure as a friend, may seem strange in your ears. But in fact, that your failure to make friends or enemies, you who decide. If you sing a song of sadness in every failure that you meet, then that failure will still be your enemy. However, if you learn from every failure you experienced, then you will be able to reap the wisdom thereof. And you will get a very valuable lesson for your next success.

Actually, what is required of you is the right attitude. Zig Ziglar in a book once said, “The problem is not the problem, but your attitude toward the problem that is the problem.” Your attitude toward a failure, determine your altitude after failure. Many people who do not understand it. Failure is a package of a success. If you want to achieve success, you must be prepared to accept failure and learn from them. Is familiar with the process.

Sydney Harris said,

“A winner knows how much still remains to be learned, although he is considered an expert by others. A loser wants to be an expert by others before realizing how little he knows. “

How do you think?

By: Danu

Between Failure And Success In Your Life

Most people believe that there is a wide gulf between those who fail with the success. There is a kind of impression, that they will not be able to cross the chasm in achieving their dreams. There is one little secret is to know, that the difference between failure and success is not too large. The question is whether these differences?
People fail, they stop to not get up one more time while a failure. But successful people, they always rise once more from every failure they encountered. The quality that makes one stand of each failure is perseverance. That small difference makes a big difference between successful people and people fail. The change of failure as a stepping stone to reach the peak of success. Ductility is what distinguishes those who succeed their premises only dreamed about.
There is nothing that can be achieved easily. There are no shortcuts to a real success. One way to turn failure into a stepping stone to success is to develop endurance and perseverance. This way you can learn, by developing positive habits of commitment that you take if you are reluctant or lazy.
There are some things we can do to boost stamina and the ability to quickly recover when a failure:
1. Determine objectives clearly.
One main thing that makes a person can survive amid the failure is the reason or purpose clear, where you will go or what you will become. Because the goal is perfectly clear going to fuel your journey that empowers tenacity. With a clear objective process that you do you will be able to enjoy because you are filled with passion.
2. No reason.
The only reason for the success is that they do not have a reason, which will hinder their journey towards the achievement. Instead of a loser, a lot of things they can use to reason, and no action, so they stopped and did not go everywhere. Most people will be looking for excuses after they missed an opportunity.
No matter how much you have opportunities missed or mistakes you’ve made should not excuses. Accept the criticism, accept their responsibilities. And keep trying.
3. Incentives for your own.
Incentives will make you survive. Many large companies that provide incentives for its employees. If you provide proper incentives yourself in every Stage of your trip, then the long-term goals will not be too heavy.
Walter Elliot says, “Perseverance is not a long race, but a series of short races.” One thing to remember, is that the incentive is only useful if you provide when you reach the target. is the incentive to adjust the target. This means adjusting the mass scale incentive target. Do not provide incentives to the island of Bali is due to spend a bowl of vegetables. You certainly know what I mean.
4. Develop a strong determination.
To develop resilience in the long run, you must develop a strong determination continuously. Learn to become a person who has a strong determination. Read books biography of people who have reached the top. Napoleon Hill said, “The wages of all our efforts we will only gain if we do not give up.”
Remember, the only difference between a small success with great success are those who achieve great success is to keep trying.
Is there something that makes you hesitate to step forward?

By: Danu

Learning Laughing at Ourselves

Nothing is as good as a healthy sense of humor – especially the ability to laugh at themselves – which can make you immune to the frustration of the problems you face every day. Many things that we encounter from time to time that make us upset, and frustration leads. Perhaps agreements met, which was one location, may wait too long, you may queue ticket so long, suddenly there was someone who casually barging in front of you without feeling guilty. Or maybe your idea stolen your friends, and your friend gets the credit. But most often make a person upset is the response of others on the relationship unhealthy relationship.
If not able to laugh at yourself, you will have to travel a long and difficult. You have to fight hard to defend yourself with the changes. You have to turn into flexible in building relationships with others. Both co-workers, relatives, spouse, with your child or your family others. When you sarcastic people, know your weaknesses, and sometimes plainly show, you might be offended and defensive. Your reaction is like this it will clarify your shortcomings and make the deficiency will look much worse. More than that, your reaction to the comments of others or your partner will create new problems that demand solutions. The effect of these attitudes will make your life becomes ineffective, is a “small problem” would seem like a big problem for you.
If we observe the people who live happy and successful relationship with, you will definitely see that they are able to laugh at themselves. They generally have the necessary perspective to be fair and humble when their weaknesses to the surface. This will create a healthy environment. Your relationships with others will bring opportunities for growth and healthy, because each side feels safe.
In a potentially interactions tend to heat up, in many cases such a situation can be alleviated and forgotten just like that. One example, we were having dinner at a place in the middle of town. Incidentally next to our table were two men and a woman who was having dinner and talking. At first glance we heard the emotional tone of the conversation. The woman said, “You talk too much” with his eyes staring at the man, visibly angry. The man reacted with a light laugh and say, “You’re right, I dominate the conversation. Sorry … .. “. This reaction directly reduce tensions between them. More than that, his words, his ability to see the truth in sarcasm mate, his willingness to be humble, and willingness to acknowledge the trend might ease the situation before it could be hot.
In many cases, we often find, hundreds of conversations like this will turn into an argument. Because instead of responding with humor and humility, but those who have not commented sweet react defensive and assume that a serious problem. The inability to maintain a sense of humor encourage hurled sharp words and a trigger counter-argument.
With a laugh at yourself, not being completely serious, to relax in relationships, then you will be a nice person.
Good luck … ..

By: Danu

Stay in your strength zone

Everyone always wants the best achievement that can be achieved. But not many people realize, that the achievement of a good requires a plan, focus and courage to do it. And it all takes “potential power” of each person. Therefore we need to know our own strength it is. It is very important, because by being aware of the “strength zone“, then we will realize who we are.

Every person must have the power zone, and zones of weakness. If we choose an area of ground, then we will be a mediocre. Our potential will be wasted and can not come to the fullest. So our choice to work on what zone, it becomes very important.
How to know the two zones? Much we can do, including:

1. Personality tests. We need to do it. So that we can find out in more detail, your strengths and weaknesses. With our personality tests can be more aware of who we are.

2. Advice of others. In general we are very difficult to judge ourselves. Therefore, ask for advice the parties to assess how independent our potential. Things like this are a little hard to do, because it takes greatness of soul. However, such efforts will help a lot.

3. Personal experience. Continued to move toward what you want to accomplish. Each stage of achievement, it is important to your values. Failure would be very useful for your progress is bigger, if you always get up one time more than any failures that you experience. Personal experience is not always the best teacher. But the experience will be evaluated as the best teacher.
The more you are in your strength zone, the greater your ability to achieve your dreams.
William Gladstone, British Prime Minister, once said,

“The wise are those who do not spend the energy to pursue what is not according to him, but still more wise people who can choose and firmly follow the best from among the things he can do well.”

Right?

By: Danu

Attitude … .. whether it?

Attitude is an inner feeling in his expresion in the action or behavior. And that is often reflected in our faces. Therefore an attitude would be very easy to influence the situation around it. Whether to cause boredom or warmth. Therefore, attitude determines the success or failure of a relationship. Good family relationships, bussiness, and friendship.

Why become an important

Because the factor that represents yourself. The attitude you show who you are. We live a busy world. We associate the midst of a thousand kinds of people with backgrounds. How successful relationships with many human background? The answer is your attitude.

Because the attitude is not a fixed price that can not be changed. But the attitude is a choice. And we all must take responsibility for what we choose.
There is one story, a couple was met with friends in a high school reunion. One of his friends, asked the wife,
“Hey Mita, whether you are a happy marriage?” Asked a friend of the woman.
“Sure, why?” Replied the wife.
“Does your husband make you happy?” The friend continued.
The woman thought for a moment. Then say,
“Oh no. He never made me happy. “The woman is saying.
“So how you can keep your marriage?” The friend was asked in surprise
“Indeed, my husband has tried to make me happy. My husband is a good and responsible. However, it was not him that made me happy. But the happiness it is my personal responsibility. ” The woman answered.
That’s the attitude. Each person must take responsibility for his own. We are not a drama, where we have determined to play a character like anything. Often we see the impression of a drama series on television, the bearer of bad character will continue to look bad until the story was finished. We are humans, who can choose and develop to become better.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, once said,
“What lies behind and in front of us are the things that is very small compared to what lies within us ..”
If you change your attitude, then the things that others will follow.
Is not this so?

By: Danu

Develop appreciation for your life

Often we know some people who like to complain about the situation. Many complained that, whether the weather is too hot, the bed is too hard, serving less food tastes, or too-short vacation, that salaries are too small and there are many other things that he’s complaining. People who like this actually includes those who lack respect for life. They do not care how well they get.

There is a story, a woman who was transferred to a nursing home. She is a blind woman, who had accompanied her husband for 70 years and had died. This woman is very independent. A time comes in a nursing home, she had to wait in the front room to wait for his room that is being prepared. When she was led to her room, her maid told her in detail about the content and layout of all existing things in her room.

“I like it.” The woman said this with enthusiasm.
“But you have not seen it. See you later. “Said the waiter.
“It has nothing to do.” Said the blind woman, “Happiness is something you decide from the beginning. That is how I arrange my mind. “Blind woman continued.

Happiness is often affected by many circumstances that surrounded him. Though the award is not a matter of taste or sophistication. Appreciation is a matter of perspective.

Start with small things. If you can learn to appreciate and be grateful for small things, then you will appreciate the big things, and everything that happened between them.

Find Something positive.

It’s not always easy. But if we seriously want to try it, then we’ll find something good, even in the midst of the most difficult situation though.

The world is filled with people who are negative. In fact, they like to gather together. However, positive people are also everywhere. Our task is to find it. Associate with them, people are positive. Be closer and friendly withthem, so you will increasingly strengthened.

Tell a positive

Try to cultivate the habit of giving a positive comment in every conversation. Give credit to others by praising something positive to others with sincerity. Support for them can develop. Actions that will be very positive impact on you and others.

Respect others as you respect yourself.

How do you think?

By: Danu

Grow

In everyday interactions, we often meet with people of diverse hue, and habits. There are apathetic about what would happen to him, but there is also an optimist. Several indifferent to life, but many are very concerned for her future.
How to think we should be in accordance with our physical growth. To become an adult it takes courage to fill more experience. There is a point, the phrase which states that the old nature and become adults need struggle. Because the required experience sufficient maturity to give birth to think and act mature.
Grow and become adults is closely related to how we define life goals. Each challenge, bitterness, and the difficulty the more sharpening our maturity.
A leader is that they are able to make obstacles in life as climbing a ladder to ascend to a higher level. They are not afraid of challenges. They realized that the experience would strengthen their inner growth.
Think big. Do not think they are. But think that gives an echo and resonance or vibration large. Leaders must give more influence, and provide benefits to the larger environment.
The future is not something to look forward, but the future is something that must be prepared. We ourselves have to paint it. Great people are those who have the big picture of him.
And last but not least, is the action. Action will determine whether we are getting closer to the direction of our future painting or deviate from the purpose of our lives.

What do you think …?

By: Danu

Powerful Visualization Secrets

One of the kindest persons I’ve ever met has shared with me some of her visualization secrets to get what you want in life. I want to share them with you too:

1. If you visualize, you have to be in the picture. Example, you visualize a car, its type, model, color, etc. BUT What you should be doing is to visualize yourself riding or driving the car of your dreams.

She said before, she used to visualize a silver suv; what happens is that she sees so many silver suvs passing by, without her in it!

2. It helps if you do visualization at a specific time and do it regularly. DON’T do it just once in a while, then easily give up.

3. Don’t be shy in making a request from the universe. Don’t think you can’t ask for more if you have so many blessings already.

We are encouraged to dream big, and everything that we need is already within us.

4. You can also inject fun in doing visualizations. She says, “My seatmate sees herself jumping up and down while doing the task she is thinking of. Injecting an element of fun encourages you to do it repetitively.”

5. Think pictures. She says, “I have been affirming that ‘I am a friendly person’ but I cannot picture it out in my mind. So I have to create an image that relates to that like I am smiling and shaking hands with a person I just met.”

“Like if you say ‘I am rich’ you have to ‘materialize’ it. What does being rich mean to you? Is it seeing in the computer so many people ordering your products? Encashing checks? It should be an activity.”

6. You have to really desire, believe, and accept. You desire the thing or activity with passion, you believe that it will be yours (that this or something better will be given), and accept it.

Don’t be afraid. Acceptance is being prepared for all the attachments and responsibilities that goes with what you asked for.

7. Visualization must be done repeatedly. Initially, you may doubt that it is impossible for you to get what you ask for. But as you do it repeatedly, you tend to “hypnotize” yourself and believe what you are saying. Repetition causes you to focus on your goal.

8. You can do it with your eyes open! You don’t have to do meditations (like you need to hear gongs, go through the colors of the rainbow, or say “ommm”) first to be able to go into the alpha state. You just need to be relaxed and just have the image in your mind.

by: Michael Lee

Michael Lee is the author of “How to be a Red Hot Persuasion Wizard…in 20 Days or Less”, an ebook that teaches powerful persuasion techniques on how to tremendously enhance your relationships, boost your profits to the next level, and get anything you want…just like magic. Get a sample chapter and highly-stimulating “Get What You Want” advice at his site: http://www.20daypersuasion.com. He is the Co-Founder of http://www.self-improvement-millionaires.com and is licensed as a Certified Public Accountant.

Self-Growth: Building Character And Integrity

It’s been said that character is defined by what you do when you think no one is watching. What an illuminating concept that is.

Most of us have a public face and a private face. There are parts of ourselves we don’t want the world to see. Typically, we tend to hide the aspects that would not be viewed favorably by society. Greed, lust, jealousy, pettiness, fear and so on. We also tend to hide our weaknesses. No one needs to know that we can wolf down a gallon of ice cream in an hour, do they?

I think most people are “good” at their core; decent, loving, compassionate and kind. However, even those we perceive to be good people are capable of unspeakable acts. How many times have you heard a convicted murderer’s family member or friend say, “I just can’t believe he would be capable of something like that. It’s so unlike him.” The killer projected one identity to the world, while secretly he was someone else entirely.

Okay, most of us are not murderers. Yet, even those of us who would be considered “good people” often think nothing of stealing, cheating on our spouses, or worse. What does that say about our character? Is it wrong only if we get caught?

How many times have you done something that you probably wouldn’t have done if others had been there to see it? Would you feel embarrassed if these things were brought to public awareness? Did you act on your impulses only because you felt sure no one would ever find out?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of “sin” lately. What is sin exactly? In the Christian religion, sin refers to that which displeases (or dishonors) God. The Ten Commandments warn us against adultery, theft, murder and more. Supposedly if you follow that list, you will remain in God’s good graces.

In some earth religions, there is only one commandment: Harm None; which basically covers all angles in two words. Do nothing that would cause harm to yourself or another. Seems simple enough.

Yet, in both of these examples there are gray areas, aren’t there? Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s right or wrong. If we find money on the street and pick it up, is that stealing? Does it make a difference if it was $5.00 or $500.00? If we lie to protect someone’s feelings, is that wrong? If we take some paper clips home from the office, is that stealing? Does it “harm” the company, really? If we flirt with someone other than our spouse, or fantasize about them, is that cheating? Or is cheating only the physical act of sexual intercourse?

In situations like these, how do we know the right course of action? How do we balance integrity with our impulses and desires? I think it can help to examine your motives and the possible consequences. What is your intent in this situation? What do you hope to gain from it? Could your actions harm another, or yourself? If your actions became public knowledge, would you be okay with that?

Maybe some of you are rolling your eyes at me right now, thinking, “What’s the big deal? So what if I take a few things from work, or cheat on my wife? What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” That may be true, but doesn’t it hurt you in the long run? Don’t those actions detract from the kind of person you are? Don’t they dim your inner light? If it’s true that we are all connected, then isn’t it also true that harming another means harming ourselves? By disrespecting others, we disrespect ourselves and God.

Personally, I don’t believe that God is angry and judgmental, sitting up in the clouds waiting to cast us into the pits of Hell for our transgressions. I do believe there will be a final “review” of our lives, and we will have to answer for the things we’ve done. But I think we will be our own judges. In the deepest part of ourselves, we know right from wrong.

We’re not perfect, and no one is expecting us to be. We all make mistakes and do things we are later ashamed of. We are human, after all. But there is a big difference between making a mistake, and purposely doing something we know is wrong. We may try to fool ourselves at times and justify our actions. Maybe your husband doesn’t pay attention to you, so you try to convince yourself that it’s okay to have an affair with a man who does. Or your employer gives you a crappy raise, so you decide to make up for it in other ways, like stealing supplies or fudging your time sheet. They asked for it, right? You certainly have the right to do these things, and probably no one will stop you. Our greatest gift in life is Free Will. Unfortunately, it is also often our greatest curse. There are always consequences to our actions, whether they come now or later.

In the end, it’s all a matter of personal accountability. Do we want to be a person of character, or not? It doesn’t matter if we get caught or not. What matters is that we are defined by our actions. If I take something that doesn’t belong to me, I am a thief. If I cheat on my spouse, I am an adultress. If I don’t want to get caught, I probably shouldn’t do these things in the first place. The truth has a way of making itself known.

by: Wendy Betterini

About The Author

Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.

Change It!

Easier said than done, huh? Change, in and of itself, can be downright scary due to the fear of the unknown. However, if we’re doing the same thing (that we know doesn’t work), time and time again, but expecting DIFFERENT results…Well, that’s the definition of insanity!

In some ways, we’re all insane. Does this sound familiar? (A personal Ouch!??) Do you, or someone you know, continue to run around in circles either SAYING it’ll be different this time? It might be finding a new love that’ll be nicer to me, or thinking, “I’ll lose this extra weight; exercise more; snack less”; “I will do something–quit my job; start a business; find more meaning… I just need a change!”

That works, right? We (it is more powerful to say “I,” not, you or we!) “Ok, I own this!” Somehow what we say we want the most just doesn’t happen! We don’t get around to it. How come? We want it, right?

But, often, wanting it is not enough! We spend countless hours dreaming about this new situation and how great we’ll feel when we get it, but the doing part just doesn’t occur!

I assure you — this isn’t one of those “you ought to be ashamed of yourself,” i.e., “Motivational” articles. I’m just as guilty of not doing something I say I want as anyone else is.

I’m not telling you anything I, myself, haven’t done…or not done! I did a search on “Procrastination” and got over 100,000 “hits” Sheesh! “Any avoidance of a task which needs to be accomplished,” I like that definition. It’s nice, generic & can explain many things –changing careers, feeling “trapped” but not doing anything about it, clutter in our closets, in our lives…everywhere! The list goes on!

It’s a vicious cycle. There’s a bit (or a lot!) of “beating yourself up” through procrastination. No one is “perfect.”

You know you should do “X,” be more “Y,” thought “Z.” The list goes on and on, but it’s tough to change this habit. It’s said it takes at least 21 days to make something new you do a habit! The bigger the change the more time it takes!

It’s easier to do what you’ve always done. It’s comfortable, sort of like slipping into a pair of old jeans. You know the ones that make your stomach look flat, your butt higher and rounded, and your legs long like a super model’s! Until those jeans (or our destructive habits), feel too tight, cut off our circulation and intrude on our image of our self, we won’t do anything about it. But when there are enough negative outcomes, we HAVE to do something different. We change.

Yes, change is scary. But, not changing can be scarier!

by: Marcia Merrill

Marcia Merrill, known as the Transition Chick, is a Career/Life Transitions Coach and an expert in helping midlife women discover how to create positive change in their lives! Visit http://www.eCareerCorner.com & sign up for her special e-book-“5 Secrets to Career/Life Triumphs!” & get a subscription to her newsletter as a bonus